Miss: Ohmygod, if Richard Armitage was in the next series of Sherlock!

Me: Ohmygod.

Miss: I might die of sexiness.

Me: Uh, yeah.

Miss: Imagine the three of them together—two tall people and Martin in the middle. It would be a Martin sandwich!

Me:You have to stop or my vagina will implode.

Miss: What about Richard Armitage and Colin Firth? And they had a foursome.

Me: Stop talking! You’re getting my hopes up. And if I had a penis it would be up, too.

Miss: I turned your clitoris into a tiny penis.

Me: *laughs uncontrollably* 

Miss: Tumblr makes me have dirty thoughts.